Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Missing Komiki Every Day

I woke up at 3:30 am today and couldn't go back to sleep. I was half expecting Komiki to push open the door (I always leave it ajar), prance into the room, and wake me up with her snorting. She usually does that at wee hours in the morning, and I gladly oblige by carrying and placing her on the bed. She usually sleeps at my feet while Epsilon sleeps beside me. But sadly no matter how much I expect Komiki to show up, I know she never will. And once again my heart breaks as I try to lull myself to sleep in order to wake up early for tomorrow's meetings.

You see, I never intended to write a blog post on Komiki's passing. I felt it was too sudden, too painful, too unnecessary. But as I found myself weeping while going through her photos on my mobile, I figured I might as well just to let it all out.

The story is, Komiki was a rescue (and I proudly share that fact with everyone) and was given to us by a local neighborhood pet store because she was deemed unsaleable due to her condition. She was tiny for 6 months, had a hernia, and was riddled with mange. She was cute but we didn't need her, but we willingly spent Php10,000 to have her rehabilitated. When she was cured, the vet brought her back to us and I said, "I can't afford another dog, just sell her." The vet encouraged me to keep her, so I did but was unsure. I had P-nut then, my pride and joy.

Little did I know that she and P-nut would be best of friends, and she delighted everyone with her eyes full of wonder, and her never-ending mischievous antics. Would you believe she "stole" my hermit crabs twice, and would chew on my fingers in the morning if I didn't wake up at once.

She was truly everyone's favorite, she was cute and cuddly; but she'd also chase visitors, mailmen, and delivery people away. We often thought that maybe she didn't know she was a Shih Tzu because she was too active, too loud, and too conniving to be one (versus Shih Tzu pets of my relatives who were merely lap dogs that slept and ate all day).

As the years passed by, I later realized that P-nut was my pride and Komiki my joy. They were best of friends, and she looked up to P-nut like a leader. He was the serious one (always obedient), and she the jester (always so eager to please).

When P-nut was already sick, Komiki kept P-nut entertained even though he was masungit. And when P-nut finally had a seizure, Komiki was just watching a mere 3 feet away. For two weeks she felt very sad and alone. She would be follow us everywhere -- to the bathroom, in our bedrooms, she even wanted to sit on our laps during mealtime. That was pretty odd because she was never the clingy type. And then Epsilon came along and Komiki adjusted well to her new companion.

trying yoga with my human
But last June, a month before her scheduled birthday celebration, Komiki accidentally fell down our steep staircase. I had just cuddled and kissed both she and Epsilon then I sad down to eat breakfast with my sister. Within minutes we heard a loud thud. We stood up to check what it was, and our helper with Komiki in her arms told us she had fallen and probably hit her her on the marble floor. I carried her, placed her on the bed but she only blinked. We then decided to bring her to the vet (which was only 5-7 minutes away), but as soon as I got there I was advised she was already DOA.

I wailed like a mad woman at the clinic. There were no words to explain how painful losing a pet feels like. And to think, we've had so many pet deaths in the last years but really it never gets any easier. We went home very devastated, with Komiki in a small brown box. We went to church also that morning (it was a Sunday) and I was crying incessantly. It was like losing a family member -- too sad, too painful.

It was so ironic that Komiki's cause of death was the staircase, where she spent most of her days there waiting for everyone to arrive from work. She was always the first to run to the door greeting us with gusto.

Komiki was scheduled to celebrate her 7th birthday this July 28. She was so young, and she left so many broken hearts behind. Up to now, my parents feel so bad that we've lost her. My Dad repeatedly says, "Sayang, she never should have died. She was so young, we loved her very much."

She is now buried in our garden beside our other dogs who have passed on to the Rainbow Bridge. I think about you every day, Komiki. Sometimes I wish it was I who fell down the stairs instead of you. You have brought so much joy to us the past 6 years, and I hope that we were also able to give you the best care possible, and all the love our hearts can give.

Goodbye, Komiki :(
Please say hello to P-nut for me when you see him at the Rainbow Bridge :(


  1. Kira.. :'( This is so beautifully written, and I'm close to tears reading bout her. It's a blessing how pets can bring us so much joy. I'm sure Komiki knows she's beloved by all of you.. -hug-

  2. Aw Kira... T_T Losing family members is never easy, and definitely P-nut and Komiki both are part of yours. **hugs!!**

  3. This is so sad Kira. :( I still think of my senior dog Ting, I read you P-Nut post before when my dog died just a month ago. I still think of her from time to time. :(

  4. Condolences, Kira. It never gets easy kasi we love each of them so much. *hugs*

  5. I wonder if a funnel helps. I am dreading refilling my Sheer Velvet (which I love!)

  6. No need na, just cut a teeny hole at the corner. Or let the sales staff do it.

  7. Thank you for the hug. I just felt really sad today. Epsilon is different kasi, he's still a puppy so he doesn't respond to human emotion pa. Sometimes he looks at me pero empty, it's really not the same without Komiki :(

  8. My deepest condolences to you, Ana. Wish there was something we can do to bring them back. My sister suggested i-Frankenweenie daw namin.

  9. Thank you for the hug, Pat. All best to your kitties.

  10. Oh Kira, I'm tearing up after reading this. :( I've always liked Komiki when I see her in your posts because of her huge huge eyes, they were so adorable, and natutuwa ako sa mga kwento mo sa kanya kasi sobrang wala sa hitsura, haha. The really ironic thing is however much we love our pets and take care of them, one day we will no longer be with each other, and it's something we can never control. I'm sure hindi ka nagkulang sa pagmamahal mo sa kanya, and I'm really, really sure she felt that. Hugs dear.

  11. She was such a character. What bothers us is what happened, why did she fall? Did she miss a step and slipped down, did she have a stroke and then just fell afterwards, does she have arthritis/rheumatism? So many questions :( It even came to a point where we interrogated the helper and asked if she had anything to do with the accident.

    Di ba, it hurts more because she was a strong dog, hindi naman sya nagkasakit and then suffered. To make matters worse, when I carried her she peed on me which means she was in so much pain already.